Signature Injuries

Almost every killer has some sort of signature injury to attempt to define themselves out of the sea of clones that exist. This page will go in-depth as to which ones have been found by the current editor, and why these injuries were illogical and\or (in most cases) more harmful then the author intended or just plain impossible.

JEFF THE KILLER'S SMILE, FACE, AND EYELIDS
Jeffry's already a big problem here. Apparently, the author of the story that started this whole tiptoe-through-the-bleached-tulips didn't study chemistry or biology.

Bleach is about 80% water, meaning it isn't flammable. Bleach also wouldn't have turned Jeff's skin white, as skin is colored by melenin and not pigments, and bleach kills pigments and doesn't fuck with melenin. If anything, Jeff's face would have temporarily turned red due to the irration caused by the chemical.

While alchohol is flammable, it tends to not burn what it's on, dries up quickly, and is also not the best flammable liquid. Being extreamly generous, assuming the bleach landed only on his face and the vodka only hit his hair, ther's several problems that arise. His face wouldn't turn white and it would still fell like flesh. His hair, if it caught fire, would have burned completely off. Plus, simply falling down the stairs would have put the fire out.

Later on, Jeff goes crazy and stuff and decides to cut a smile into his face. That might have been okay, if it weren't for the fact that he apparently never treats it with any medicinal supplies. So there's going to be alot of blood loss, and a whole lot of infections later on.

Secondly, how could one burn out their eyelids without harming their eyes? Ignoring logic, and assuming that Jeff burned out two fourth-of-a-centimeter-thick slabs of flesh that were the only things protecting his eyes from the flame, he would also get eye infections, his eyes would dry up, dust and dirt would gather on the lenses, and he'd eventually go blind. So, when the root of the tree is already rotted, that's not a good sign.

JANE THE KILLER'S SICK BURNS
From the original Jane The Killer story, we assume nothing's too wrong with her. She's just another edgy teen who got bored, pulled the melenin out of her skin via pigment killer, and then killed a bunch of people. However, in what's apparently her true story, she's lit on fire by Jeff.

However, this poses a problem: Skin charring has mostly been known to turn someone's skin an ashy black with splotches of white and red, yet she only turns brown. And that's giving her the benefit of the doubt and saying she burned, considering that prior to the arson, Jeff douses her in bleach, which from the earlier segment we found out isn't fucking flammable.

Plus, that's also being even more generous considering that we're saying she survived. The story literally says the following:

''"The flames erupted as soon as the match came into contact with me. I screamed as loud as possible. The pain was unbearable. I could feel the flesh melting off my body, the heat invading every pore in my body. Blood evaporating in its veins, and my bones becoming charred and brittle." -''http://jtk.wikia.com/wiki/Jane_the_Killer:_The_Real_Story

Flesh melting, blood evaporating, bones charring, that doesn't sound like she's going to live through that, considering that stuff is, y'know, fatal.

Plus, further on, we get this lovely paragraph:

"I felt the handle of a mirror get slipped into my hand. When I looked into the mirror I dropped in onto the floor. The shattering of the mirror didn't compare to the shattering of my realization. My skin was leathery and brown, I didn't have a single hair on my head, and the skin around my eyes were saggy. I looked almost as bad as Jeff." -http://jtk.wikia.com/wiki/Jane_the_Killer:_The_Real_Story

Charred skin isn't known for a feel like leather, nor is it (like we just established) known to be just simply brown. Atleast the author understood that fire burns hair away, but they also forgot that burned skin doesn't heal correctly, so saggy skin around her eyes would be basically impossible.

CLOCKWORK'S NEW EYE
Oh Clockwork, probably one of the worst Jeff rip-offs out there. There will be a seperate article breaking down everything that's wrong with it, but here, we'll just focus on what Natelie does to herself.

So, Natelie's one of the unusual cases where she hurts herself twices. So the first time she does it is after her boyfriend breaks up with her, which makes little sense as to that being the breaking point, considering her father beat her and her brother raped her and a group of girls got people to call Natelie a whore all because she talked about the fact that her brother raped her, but that's just proper story writing.

So anyways, after Chris cuts the tie with Natelie, she ends up sitting in the bathroom, stitching a smile into her face. How original.

Later on in the story, Natelie (suprise) goes crazy, gets superpowers, escapes a hospital via murdering everyone, then, you guessed it, murders her family. After killing her brother in a way that actually makes you feel sorry for the guy, she finds herself in the goddamn bathroom again, however, this time there's a clock, and, I swear to whatever deity you belive in, she cuts out her fucking eye and replaces it with the face of the clock for the mere purpose of a motif.

This is stupid. First off, depth perception is an important thing. Second off, the clock has no reason to exist, is only brought up at this moment, and is supposed to represent how the concept of Time is the ultimate enemy, despite Time not having really any power in the story. I'd really say that David the Child Beater, Lucas the Rapist, and Mia the Clique Leader were the enemies since they were the only ones who did wrong to her, but that's just my take from it.

EYELESS CLEO
Cleo The Killer is already an interesting specimene. But if there's one thing that's actually suprising, the character is like a combination of Eyeless Jack, Toph, and Jeff The Killer.

At the time that Cleo goes cray-cray, she cuts out her eye. She's grouped as a superpowered killer because she apparently can still feel, hear, and smell people, and so, negates what is probably one of her most valueble of the like 20 senses humans have. The worst part is, she, much like Natelie, has no incentive for doing this.

''Few days later Jeff went crazy. He went to the hospital cause a kid caught him on fire. He killed his parents and brother after he got out of JDC. After a month I snapped. Ryan, Adam and Zack came up and made fun of me hurt me. So I grabbed my pocket knife and carved ones eyes out, stabbed the other and ran off and left Ryan there bleeding while the others lie motionless. I cut out my eyes and my mom came in while I was crying.''

''"Sweetie what are you...HUH?" she said Cowardly while I was holding two knifes up to her "Sweetie, your eyes!". "I can hear, and smell and feel people through the ground and air" I said to her. "S...Sweetie please p...put the knifes down and we can sort this o...out" she said with her voice shaking. "No mom, go get dad and WE CAN SETTLE THIS!" I yelled. "Alright sweetie I will go get h...him" she said voice trembling in fear. -''http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Cleo_the_Killer

I get that they beat her to insanity, but she has LITERALLY NO REASON to carve out HER OWN EYES. Shitty neurosis and psychosis like this makes me question the intelligence of the Jeff The Killer fandom.